Basically a collection of photographs/facts about the Bates Family (From TLC's United Bates of America) for anyone else who shares my interest in this family. Feel free to use photos as I don't own them, but please give credit as I spend ages hunting these down. Most are water-marked or from the blogs of other fundamentalist families.
If you are a member of one of the families featured on here/know some who is please see the below link "For Bates Friends or Family". Thanks :)
Haha, yeah I’ll admit I’m scrutinizing every photo of her at the moment for a bump, to the point that I’m probably starting to see things :D If she is, it’d probably be at least another month until they announce it. Nothing wrong with hoping though!
Not to sound rude, but girls from ‘troubled backgrounds’ are always the ones they go after.
I don’t find that rude at all. I completely agree with you and think it’s incredibly sad and true. Girls with troubling pasts will often take any attention they can get, not always realise what is happening and (as sick as it is) are easier to cover up/blame.
Regardless of whether or not Gothard is a religious man trying to live out his (somewhat extreme) beliefs or has actually taken advantage of people, it is professionally inappropriate for him to be spending one-on-one time behind closed doors with young women.
Go to any counselling or social work centre and females with troubled pasts will (usually) be put with female counsellors, and even then most rooms have a window or something just in case. It seems bizarre to me that the Duggars and Bateses are so strict on courting couples not spending alone time together, yet they let a man counsel young woman alone. I’m pretty sure every woman who attends Journey to the Heart has to have a private interview with Gothard?
The Bateses describe accountability as a safety fence on a cliff. You’re probably not going to need it, but it protects you just in case. The same principle should apply to this.
I’ve lead on a few kids and youth camps over the years and every leader, regardless of their age or sex has to sign forms to say they will not be alone with a camper on a car ride, in a cabin or anything. Even if we were counselling them, we had to stay within viewing distance of others, or take someone else along.
While this could be inconvenient (I even had to stand outside the cabin if there was only one camper in there and another leader was in the bathroom or something) it ensured the safety or both campers and leaders. If any accusations came up, like they have against Gothard, we could say that we signed a contract and abided to it. And, more importantly the campers were safe from any kind of misconduct.
In my opinion it’s just asking for trouble that IBLP and ATI don’t seem to have these or similar policies in place.
Sorry for the uber-long response, just putting it out there :D
I highly doubt it. I can’t say for sure whether or not the rumours about Gothard abusing people are true and I believe in the whole “innocent until proven guilty thing”. However I have seen a lot of substantial reasoning on Recovering Grace, and the circumstances around his leaving are somewhat suspect.
But even if he has abused people, the Duggar and Bates girls aren’t at all the type he’d go for. Most of the allegations on Recovering Grace come from girls with troubled backgrounds, who are isolated from other IBLP girls. The Duggar and Bates girls come from strongly ATI families, and are very social, plus none of them have ever spent extended periods of time at IBLP by themselves. The most they’ve done is Journeys to the Heart, and with the exception of Jana have always been with other siblings.
With your blog have you thought about traveling to meet the bates possibly the duggars at all ?
I would love to meet them, especially the Bateses. If I was ever in the States I’d do my best to take a trip to Tennessee and go to their church. That wouldn’t be for a long time though, because I’d have to finish studying, work enough to save up money etc… Plus I plan to travel to Europe first, so it would be a pretty long term thing :D
Well I’ve never met her, so my opinion is hugely valid. I think she is very sheltered and a lot more dramatic than any of her siblings, and she herself has admitted to complaining when things get hard in the past. You could say that her choice to isolate herself from public education, those who dress immodestly and have different opinions is snobbish. However I don’t think she’s a snob to the extent that some people think. From the way Chad talks about her, the way Kelly describes her on the blog and the way Carlin used to be her shadow, I’d say she has a lot more going for her than we’ve seen.
I think it’s a highly unlikely situation. Both families have raised their kids in an environment that doesn’t believe homosexuality exists. If any of the children had any such feelings they would be firmly discouraged and prayed for.
I do believe the Bates parents would be quite good about it- at least they would talk it out and try to respond in love. But at the end of the day neither family, I expect would fully be able to accept their decision, though I doubt they’d shun them.
Can’t see any of them getting as far as courtship- none of the older ones in either family have rebelled seriously and all seem to have strong relationships with the rest of their family, so they just wouldn’t be able to leave their family easily. If any of them did have feelings for someone of the same sex (again, I highly highly doubt this would ever happen) I expect they would suppress the feelings till they go away.
Sure thing! These are my impressions mixed with fact, so anyone else is welcome to chime in with their opinions:
-Michael: people-focused introvert. If you know anything about personality types she’s a definite phlegmatic or “golden retriever” (personality types are actually really interesting if you have the time to Google it). She’s the kind who will put others first, and pretty much do anything to make them happy. Calm, submissive. She prefers to be in the background (e.g. making Erin and Whit’s bridesmaids dresses rather than being one herself, not doing many talking heads, avoiding cameras). Selfless, heart of gold, really really lovely and sees the good in things. And she’s amazing with younger kids. All of the little ones from Addee down adore her and are going to have an incredibly hard time when she leaves to get married. She works as a nanny, sews, cooks. To me she’s seemed a bit less shy lately (maybe since she met Brandon?).
-Erin: extrovert, somewhere between people focused and task focused. Sanguine/Choleric. She’s a bit of a drama queen, the most girly one, has a pink bedroom etc… She has some leadership qualities- Kelly’s spoken about how she prays for the younger members of the family and started some sort of revival a few years back. She inspires them to do better. I get the impression Carlin used to be her shadow. She’s pretty close with Tori as well. Perfectionist, plays piano beautifully, spends a fair bit of time curling her hair perfectly. Some of her talking heads on UBoA were actually hilarious- her and Tori together were bubbly, joking and unpolished. However, in the recent 19 Kids and Counting episodes she seemed ditzy and silly. That could just be nerves on camera (I could totally understand that), or maybe she too has changed a bit? A bit of a dreamer, romantic etc…
-Alyssa: definite extrovert, more people focused but very organised. Sanguine “otter”. She seems to have really bloomed over the past few years. She makes friends easily, loves meeting new people, enthusiastic. She seems a lot calmer than Erin, very mature for her age. Kelly’s said she’s always had goals beyond her years. She has (imo) the best fashion of the Bateses. In the old 19 Kids and Counting episodes she was a bit awkward, but she’s gracefully grown out of that. She still has some tom-boy tendencies- goes hunting, was closest with Zach etc… She too is good at cooking, likes photography and is super organised, good communicator. She also seems more of a realist, practical.
-Tori: people-focused extrovert. Sanguine/otter, but different to Alyssa. According to Kelly she has a similar personality to Erin (a few years ago). She’s funny, bubbly, smart and wonderful. She speaks her mind, teases her siblings and doesn’t mind being teased back. Less serious than Alyssa, but more down to earth than Erin. She’s a tomboy and doesn’t like getting dressed up the way Erin and Alyssa do. You could say she’s not as “mature” as Alyssa, but I think she just has different ideas, isn’t in such a hurry to get married. She’s an optimist as well, loved by all her siblings. She plays violin quite well and isn’t a bad singer, but always seems to do backing vocals while Erin and Alyssa lead (though Alyssa’s voice has definitely improved lately). She’s one of my favourites.
-Carlin: Extrovert. I want to say task focused/choleric. I think she used to adore Erin, but lately has been more of a mini Alyssa. She too has good fashion sense and seems to make friends easily. She’s a bit outspoken, but seems to be taming with age. She is well organised and a natural leader. Josie (and Katie) seem to look up to her, and apparently she inspires others with her commitments to hand out tracts and such. She seems fairly mature for her age (or at least has lots of older friends). I’d say she’s a bit dramatic at times and will probably marry young like Alyssa.
-Josie:task focused introvert, but good with people too. Sort of Melancholic, but not entirely.I don’t know much about her, but she seems like the quieter, intellectual type. I think she and Carlin were besties growing up, and are still pretty close, but not as much? The Roberts siblings all seem to adore her. I’d say she’s calm, practical, down to earth and very smart.
It’s possible, though to me she’s looked the same size since she had Michael, so it’s hard to tell whether or not she’s pregnant. Though I agree, if she is it won’t be the focus of the show. Josh and Anna simply don’t have the same entertainment value as the rest of the family. Unless you’re a family with young children, they aren’t all that interesting.
Courtship however, well that’s a much better focus.
There’s been lot’s of rumours floating around about the Bates/Duggar families at the moment, so I thought I’d address some of the and give my own two cents worth of what to expect over the next few months:
-Jessa and Ben’s engagement. Yeah, rumours, rumours everywhere! Perez Hilton, supposed “TLC annoucements" (brief mediocre article which only sources another, poorly written article with outdated quotes and nothing about engagement) and tons of questions. They’ve been courting for long enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if they were, but I haven’t seen anything concrete yet. It’s possible that they are and want to keep it under the wraps, but I doubt they’d succeed for long as all of the past announcements (Anna’s last two pregnancies, Jessa’s courtship, yard sale episode etc…) have been leaked long beforehand.
-Upcoming season of 19 Kids and Courting. Yes, courting. I’d bet anything this season will milk Jessa and Ben for all it’s worth the same way they did with Josie, and then Jubilee a few seasons ago. This may sound critical, by my guess is we’ll be getting so much of Jessa and Ben we’ll be sick of them by time the season’s out. And if the final involves an engagement, I wouldn’t even raise my eyebrows.
-Zach and Whit/Chad and Erin being pregnant. I’m thinking Whit may be pregnant going by her pinterest and the lack of comments since January about the state of her womb. Her and Zach have decided to not use birth control and have been taking pregnancy tests. They’re both young and have been married for 2 1/2 months now. It would make sense.
Chad and Erin haven’t mentioned anything about kids yet, and Erin hardly uses her pinterest, so that’s not helpful. I honestly thought they’d be the first, given they’re been married longer, also aren’t using birth control and both come from super fertile families. So I’m not sure about them, but reckon they’ll be expecting before the year’s out.
-Duggar girl book. Well I’m 6th on the waiting list for it at my library (which means there are at least 5 other people in Auckland that have heard of the Duggars! I’m shocked! Are any of you on here???) So when I get my turn I’ll do a review. I reckon it’ll be pretty similar to the other books, and not exactly exposing. Someone on FreeJinger who did a review of on of the drafts said it was pretty much a collection of stories and most of which they’ve already told on conferences etc… e.g. the one about Jessa being an annoying sister to Jana and Jana dealing with it by giving up her jewellry box or something to Jessa.
-Duggar/Bates courtship. Older Duggars/Bateses have been spending heaps of time together lately. Especially Lawson and Nathan/John and Jinger. Several of you have messaged me speculating about this. I’ve never really taken the possibility of a courtship between the older Duggar/Bates crews seriously, but then they have been doing so much together, which could suggest courtship or simply that Lawson/Nathan are besties with John. Time will tell.
-Other courtship: I reckon we’ll have a break before there are more Bates courtships. Lawson’s the only one who seems ready to me, Nathan and Tori not interested and Trace down need a bit of time to grow up. Michael’s courtship I reckon will last a fair bit longer yet, no engagement announcements until late this year or next year.
Please note this is just my speculation, none of this is fact. Don’t take it too seriously. Anyone want to add their predictions?
I noticed that on Whitney’s pinterest page under the baby section there is a picture of a man’s sweatshirt that says , “Daddy since 2014” that may indicate that she is pregnant.
Would not surprise me one bit! Her pinterest is getting very baby-orientated and they’ve been married for enough time now :) They weren’t pregnant in January, but I haven’t seen either Whit or Kelly answer and pregnancy related questions since then :D